Erin (iam3rin) wrote,

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No better loss than to lose myself in you

I just got a TB test at the SLC because I needed to for my internship at the hospital. I HATE needles. I am the biggest needlephob. I tried to hold the nurses hand and she got mad an told me to let go. I felt really dumb. Now I am in my room and I thought something smelled funny and I think it is my shot. Like my skin where I got my shot...smells. Is that wierd?

I feel like I am in a huge transition time in my life. I don't know exactly from what and to what. My undersatnding of God and the relationship I am to have with him is solidifying. I mean I hope. I can't label my walk in any certain way. I know that isn't bad but it is confusing. I feel like there is a lot of gray area in many aspects of life and I feel frusterated that most of the Christians I know cannot accept gray. They make me feel like I am wrong in saying that I just don't know all of the answers... but I think that not knowing the answers is exactly what faith is all about. Either way... I think loving God and loving people should take precidence over all of this political mumbo-jumbo. Maybe that is just me.

My heart has been hard for a while now. To everything. I don't talk about it... or haven't talked about it. I haven't been feeling emotions. I think a mix of deaths and constant school work overload left me little time to care about anything. I think I am coming out of that though. I am beginning to see the beauty in people again. I missed that.

I am busy but life is good.
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